Someone decided to have an argument with me about gays and lesbians and the right to marry, at my work. Apparently he didn’t know who he was talking to. 

His issue was he didn’t think gays and lesbians should ”come out.” & ended up trying to prove his irrational point on marriage. 

So this is how I laid it out for him: 

”The concept of ”coming out” is not quite right. It should really be called ”coming home.” 

You can have as many debates about gay marriage as you want, and over the past years I have had my share. You can debate theology, and the divide between church and state, the issue of procreation, the red hearing of polygamy, and on and on. But what it really comes down to is the primary institution of love. The small percentage of people who are gay or lesbian were born, as all humans are, with the capacity to love and the need to be loved. These things, above everything, are what make life worth living. And unlike every other minority, almost all of us grew up among and part of the majority, in families where the highest form of that love was between our parents in marriage. 

In the end, I had an out of body experience. I had to stray away from my family a little bit so that I could find that concept of ”coming home.” I will never forget the moment I first kissed another girl; it was as if a black-and-white movie suddenly turned into color. I will never forget the first time I slept next to another girl-or rather tried to sleep. Never for a moment did I actually feel or truly believe any of this was wrong, let alone an ”intrinsic evil,” so I was told by numerous of religions. It was so natural, so spontaneous, so joyous, it could no more be wrong then breathing. And as I experienced intimacy and love for the first time as an adult, all that bitterness of the gay adolescent, all that white-knuckled embarrassment, all those ruses and excuses and dark, deep depressions lifted. Yes, it was happiness. I’m happier than I have ever been in my entire life. And yet you stand there and tell me it is wrong? That I shouldn’t have any right to marry who I decide to love? Marriage is all about love. I shouldn’t matter who it’s with.. 

You may think it’s wrong and you may not like it. I can’t change your mind. However, my personal life is in no way connected to yours. Gay couples are as capable of as much love and tenacity and tenderness and fidelity as heterosexual couples.”